It’s time to get personal.
We’ve had some issues arise with Johnny. He’s started in with attitude, and it’s now hurting him at school. I’ve mentioned that his defense is “What? I didn’t do anything!”. And it’s said in a really snotty tone.
Now, he’s acting out in school. It’s not good. I know something is going on with him…but he doesn’t want any help.
Today we met with his teacher and principal. He’s finally admitted that he’s being teased, picked on, called names…whatever. Idiot, retard. I can’t tell you how much I hate that “R” word. Johnny said it’s because of the way he talks. I don’t know if that is the case, or if that’s the whole truth.
Johnny has been in speech since he was 4. In Kindergarten, he was understood 4% of the time. Now, he’s almost at 100%! He’s worked really hard and it shows. Really, the only sound he still needs help with is “R”.
Do I think he’s innocent? No. However, I think he’s hurting. And I’ve talked and talked and talked about bullying, calling names and treating others with the same respect you’d like to be treated with.
It’s at times like these when being a mom is the hardest job in the world.
{ 5 comments }
Hugs Sky!!! Doesn’t it just make you wanna find out who’s doing it, and talk with their parents! Ask them what they’re teaching their kids/!? UGH HUGS again to you and Brand, and Johnny!
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I’m sorry that you have to go through this. It must be hard for your and for Johnny as well. Bullying is such a tough problem. Wishing you the best.
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I think you’re right. He’s definitely acting out because of being picked on. As a former teacher, I would get sooo angry and would not tolerate any sort of bullying. Especially the “R” word too (my husband’s sister has Downs, so it’s very sensitive in our family).
I wish you the best of luck. Just keep letting him know that you’re there for him, and that things will change.
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I would guess he would love nothing more that to do well.He worked really hard to speak well. He wanted to be accepted, he wanted to be understood. And this, apparently, wasn’t good enough.
I am quite certain that no one should have to deal with what he is dealing with. For any reason.I wouldn’t put up with it, you wouldn’t put up with it.And yet, we place young, INNOCENT, children in environments where they have no control, and expect them to deal.
Children need guidance, they need safety and security to grow.They need to be able to make mistakes without it staying with them for days, weeks, years.They need to be imperfect, and accepted anyway.
It takes time to learn how to be what is expected by others.Without losing who they are.
Most children are not ready to be thrust into the abyss of “school” when they are placed there.
Some adapt better than others, but all will come to a point where they are not where they belong. Not sure of what their own values are.
That is what the teen years are. Frantically trying to connect with anyone.And the twenties are when they try to find themselves.Some are forever lost.
Your son needs to feel safe.He needs to know that you will keep him that way.
He needs to be home to learn how to deal with his feelings, and eventually others feelings.He needs home to feel good about himself. So he can shake off the people who need to build themselves upon the destruction of others.
Have you considered home education? My son wasn’t teased, but it upset him greatly seeing that children at his school were. That was one of the many reasons I brought him home. I am so thankful I did
http://ess.nde.state.ne.us/OrgServices/ExemptSchools/Default.htm
http://www.home-school.com/groups/NE.html
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I don’t know your son, but I know kids are so mean. I’m a middle school teacher. Usually the kids being picked on is “the nice kid.” Bullies choose any little problem and blow it out of proportion. Johnny was probably soooo embarrassed and even more embarrassed to tell you and the principal.
- Try to ask Johnny about the best part and worst part of his day regularly
- If he leaves out the bullies for three or four days, ask him about them on the 5th
- Ask Johnny how he responds to the bullies. Many kids retreat or ask the bullies to stop, but that just empowers them more. Help Johnny come up with some quick responses to the bullies.
- Keep in contact with the school. Now that they know – what are the doing about it.
I know you may not think your son is totally innocent in this situation, but he’s really taking a self esteem hit by his peers. Keep reminding him what a great person he is and why bullies bother other kids.